Literature

pride & Prejudice - difficult marriages

Elizabeth feels that there are disadvantages in the parents? marriage.

1. Discuss what disadvantages Elizabeth is talking about?

2. How are children affected by difficult marriages?

3. Is it acceptable to stay in a marriage just for the sake of the children?

Elizabeth feels that there are disadvantages in her parents? marriage because their marriage is not one of love. Mr and Mrs. Bennet parents of 5 girls: Jane, Elizabeth, Mary. Katherine and Lydia are an unlikely combination. Elizabeth?s parents bring meaning to the saying ?two opposites attract? because they are complete opposites. Their personalities differ tremendously. Mr. Bennet is a quiet man who is rather contented with his life. His main pleasure is reading which he uses to fill most of his time. He is ?an odd mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, and is mildly well-off.? His sarcastic humour and reservation contrast to that of his wife?s who constantly complains about her nerves and who is social. She is a person of ?mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper and has no regard for respecting proper manners and behaviour.? they seem to have differences of opinion all the time which creates some uncertainty in their parental ?? they never have a united front when confronting their children. Their differing opinions and incompatibility do not lighten the already dull marriage that these two have it instead adds to it. Mr. Bennett does not speak much to his wife or to his daughters other than Elizabeth he is not seen as showing much love especially to his wife; this is as a result of the lack of love in the marriage. Mrs. Bennett is an ignorant woman. Her ignorance is evident to everyone especially her husband who avoids her as much as possible by staying in his library and amusing himself with sarcasm towards her when she decides to hold a conversation. Her distasteful behaviour draws attention to herself; she constantly embarrasses her family including her husband which casts them in a bad light. This leaves readers to wonder how she is even married.

Children in a household are affected by difficult marriages. Anything that happens in a marriage inadvertently affects the children and their behaviour. Difficult marriages such as ones which involve domestic or verbal abuse, detachment or any other problems are seen by the children. Children look to their parents for guidance and counselling so when that parent is perhaps being abused the child would be of the opinion that it is not a big deal or rather that it is a norm. Socialization of a child is first done in the home; the child therefore learns norms and values of the society from their family. It is therefore crucial that the child be brought up in a good environment so that they will learn the proper behaviour and learn from example instead of being told that it is wrong and it is still happening in the home.

It is not acceptable for parents to stay in a marriage just for the sake of the children. A marriage according to dictionary.com can be defined as a relationship which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of husband and wife or any close or intimate union. Marriage is sacred and only occurs when two people decide to spend the rest of their lives together. If this is the case why should a marriage still go on if two people are no longer in love? There is no need for parents to stay together for the children because they start to become agitated, annoyed, emotional and resentful. Having a detached marriage only affects the children. Though it may seem beneficial to the parents since there would not need to be a separation of the estate, it can be problematic. Persons begin to resent each other because they feel as though they are trapped in the relationship which is actually the case.

Children may begin to feel as if they are the cause for detachedness for the parents; they begin to choose favourites and by doing so become bias against the other parent. The child also may be of the opinion that because the parents area only staying for them that they are an addition to the problem. It is better to grow up in a home with divorced parent than to grow up with both parents married and not i n love.

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