Soul Mate (short story)

Lilian lingered at the entrance to the disco hall long after paying her gate fee. She was trying hard to decide between going into the hall and going back home. She couldn?t place the real cause of her confusion, but she had this nagging feeling of being reminded of something, some promise she had made.

What promise? she wondered, withdrawing from the entrance to make way for the crowd, which was now pushing violently into the hall. She walked down the flower-lined lane that ran through the premises of the hotel. The serene swimming pool reflecting the multi-coloured neon lights like a spark of diamond, the exotic flower garden whispering under the caress of the evening breeze and the glamorous gift shops by the main entrance were a sight to behold. But Lilian was not affected by the soothing charm of the landscape. She was watching them without seeing them. Nothing seemed good enough in the entire Palm Beach hotel to calm her troubled soul.

She paused at a stall by the parking lot to buy something.

"What can I give you, madam?" the seller asked, as she appeared undecided on what to buy.

"Sweet... Let me have some sweets."

"OK, madam." He handed her a packet of Tom-Tom. "You can pick from here."

She took a handful and returned the packet. Then on a second thought she said:

"Cigarettes..."

"What brand? I have all the brands..."

What brand? she wondered, suddenly realising she couldn?t even remember the brand she used to smoke. Eight years was indeed a long time. Her own case seemed to be compounded by the fact that she kept moving from one brand to another; the latest brand was always her favourite.

"The latest brand," she said.

"That is Satellite then..." He handed her a packet, and a brand new lighter.
"Maybe you need a new lighter, ma?am."

"Sure," she said, impressed by the man?s business sense.

After paying up, she put the items in her hand bag and headed towards the swimming pool. The man could not help admiring her as she moved with impeccable elegance. Her well formed body in the dark miniskirt and blouse was quite tantalizing.

She sat on one of the rocking chairs by the pool and lit up a cigarette. The first puff tasted somewhat unpleasant. But after several puffs, it began to feel like the old days. And with the feeling came that courage and adventurous spirit that earned her the nickname, Lily. Drawing the smoke into her lungs with the eagerness of a child, she finished the cigarette in no time, and lit another one.

As she puffed away, the beauty of the surrounding seemed to be unfolding itself to her anew; transforming into a soothing reality. And soon the loud music issuing from the disco hall began to beckon to her.

She flipped off the remaining cigarette and made for the hall.

She found the hall very impressive; quite different from the ones she frequented those days. It was so wide that despite the large number of people on the dance floor and on the seats by the wall, it was neither congested nor stuffy. The stage where the band was playing was almost as spacious as the dance floor. Lilian had been told Palm Beach was the latest hotel in town. Now she knew it was also the biggest. She sighed and sat on one of the seats. Then she fished out a sweet from her bag. She sucked it slowly, trying to get familiar with the surrounding even as the party got wilder.

Lilian was so addicted to parties in those days that there was no night club in Gold City she had not attended except those established within the last eight years. She was always among the first to arrive at a party and the last to leave. She hardly slept at home; whoever she found herself in his arms in the party became her bed mate for the night. She drank so much that she was almost becoming an alcoholic. In fact, she probably would have been in a rehabilitation centre by now, but for the timely intervention of Bulus.

She would never forget the day she met Bulus. That day had formed an indelible chapter in her life and, in spite of everything, she would ever cherish it.

They had met in his clinic where she went for the treatment of her persistent headache. Being an observant doctor, Bulus discovered immediately that her problem was beyond headache. Though she appeared calm and responsible, he could detect every symptom of alcoholism on her. He noticed too that without those ugly signs she would have been stunningly beautiful. And he kind of liked her. He decided to counsel her in addition to the drug prescription.

"Do you drink?" he asked politely, after handing her the prescription.

She bowed her head in silence, nervously fidgeting with the prescription card.

"Sorry to intrude into your privacy..." he went on hesitantly. "I?m not saying
drinking is bad per se... Are you listening to me...?"

A nervous silence was the only answer.

"I drink too," he lied. "I used to drink heavier than you, then I reduced it."

"You drink too?" she asked in a voice barely audible.

"Yes; heavily. But now..."

"But you don?t look like a drunkard."

"That is because I have reduced the rate and frequency."

She sighed and bowed her head.

"You too can reduce yours," Bulus went on even as his polite words bit into
her pride like an ice block. "Try it and you will see the result. The chronic
headache will go and your beauty..."

"OK!" she said abruptly and got up. "Thanks for the advice, but I?ve got to go now... patients are waiting on the queue..."

"Yes, that is true," he said calmly and got to his feet. He walked over to her. "I?m sorry if I have hurt you..."

"No, you have not, but..." Tears overtook the remaining part of the statement and she flopped back on the seat.

"No, there?s no need to cry," he said, deeply touched. "It is nothing to cry about..."

"I have become so useless..." she sobbed.

"No, you have not." He patted her tenderly on the shoulder. "Yours is the fifth case I?ve handled today, and it is not the worst," he lied.

Rather than relieving her, the tenderness in his voice heightened her grief and her tears flowed profusely.

That was the emotional note on which their relationship began. And in no time it blossomed to a point where their being together became the real meaning of life. Under his loving care, Lilian regained not just freedom from her wayward habit, but the root cause of her problem, which was a state of lingering grief and loneliness resulting from the sudden death of her parents in a road accident. Just a few weeks after meeting Bulus she was fully back to her normal smart self, expertly managing her late parents? business empire along with her two elder brothers.

With Bulus, each day was a new song, she thought with a sigh, and reached for another sweet. And now that the music was over...

"Hi!" someone broke into her thought. "Can I have a dance with you?"

"Not now," she said without even a glance at the intruder. "Later."

"OK...then..." the man stammered, stroking his dreadlocks. Then on a second thought he added, "But can I share your seat? I?ve been dancing, I?m tired..."

"I said later!" she barked.

"OK, OK...suit yourself," he said and walked away.

My God! she thought bitterly, shaking her head. Do I really want to go back to this kind of life? That was the question that had been bugging her mind since she resolved to revert to her former way of life as a means of escaping from her predicament. And now that her decision was in the process of assuming concrete reality the question seemed to be getting bolder. Did she really want to go back to the same old thing that nearly ruined her life? She had promised Bulus never to resort to such escape route under whatever circumstance. Could her going back on this promise be the real panacea to her current problem?

Ironically, the same Bulus that rescued her from her gradual descent to hopelessness was responsible for the predicament that was now threatening to push back the hand of time. The problem began with his reluctance to accept her marriage overtures. Each time she brought up the issue, he would lecture her on the need for them to take their time. Over five years he was still undecided. And the lingering sense of insecurity resulting from the death of her parents kept haunting her. So at last she concluded Bulus was not interested in marrying her and became involved with another man.

Initially Bulus appeared contented with the development. He even offered brotherly advice whenever she expressed reservations about the man. "Don?t be too critical of him; there is no man that has no weakness," he would say.

But soon after the marriage engagement, Bulus began to behave in a way that suggested he was either jealous or not happy with the relationship. At times he would call her over to his place as if he had something urgent to say, but would end up saying nothing. And sometimes he would keep evading her; for weeks he would not even call her. And whenever she called he would switch off his phone. When she called at his house or office, she would be told he was not around.

Tired of this attitude, she decided to call it quits. It was a difficult decision, but she felt she had to take it to save herself from the agony. So she text him: "I think t?s time 2 say bye. Thanx 4 al U?ve don 4 me."

But no sooner had she sent the text than she regretted her action as it worsened her psychological problem. The action weighed so heavily on her conscience that she virtually thought of anything else but the possibility of withdrawing her statement and apologising to him. And her problem was compounded some weeks later when her fear about her fiancé was confirmed. One of her usual complaints to Bulus against him had been his womanizing habit. It used to be a mere suspicion. Now it had been confirmed in a most scandalous manner. She caught him red-handed with her best friend.

The incident was quite shocking to her. But the greatest shock of all came a day later when the fiancé told her point-blank he was no longer interested in the relationship.

"I don?t think we can continue with this relationship,? he had said. "You are too jealous for my liking."

It was the greatest shock of her life. She was so overwhelmed with grief it appeared her world had come to an end. She began to lose interest in things around her - her work, her friends and all that constituted her social life. Soon her thought became focused on the search for a way out. And eventually her former way of life presented itself to her mind as the best alternative.

Yes, I?ve chosen the best way out, she thought and got up with renewed confidence. But as she made for the dance floor, she heard a familiar voice:

"Excuse me dance!"

Turning round, she saw Bulus.

"Bulus!" She was so confused she didn?t know how to react.

"I?m sorry," Bulus apologized, drawing closer to her.

"No, please!" She backed away. "Please...!"

"I should have made up my mind a long time ago," he said, moving towards her. "I?m really sorry..."

"No..." she protested. "Just leave me alone...!"

But as Bulus got to her and took her hand, her protest melted into tears. And she surrendered herself to his yearning arms.

THE END.

(c) Sumaila Umaisha.

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